Ah, Croc. The loveable green reptile who once bounced into our hearts back in 1997. And now, in a world where photorealistic dragons ride jet skis through fully ray-traced lava oceans, Croc returns – remastered, retextured and unfortunately, rather rubbish.
Gaming Heaven
Let’s start with the positives. The visual overhaul is… charming. A bit like dressing up a cardboard box in Gucci – it looks lovely, but it’s still a cardboard box. And yes, the soundtrack still slaps in that “Saturday morning cartoon” sort of way. The addition of analog controls is technically an improvement, and Croc now moves like a real lizard – a lizard that has recently been tranquilised, mind you.
Gaming Hell
Now, onto the meat of the problem: everything else. The level design remains unchanged, which is a bold choice, considering most of it feels like a tech demo from when the internet made dial-up noises. Movement is floaty, jumps are inconsistent… The collectibles – those infernal gobbos – still lurk in every corner like unpaid interns, and yes, you’ll be forced to replay levels just to grab the one you missed because Croc decided to auto-lock onto the abyss instead of a platform.
Final Judgement
A passable game if you are really, REALLY into pixelated amphibians. For the rest of us, it’s just a reminder that some legends are better remembered than re-lived. A lovingly polished fossil. Leave it in the display case and walk on.
